Introduction to a New Era of Dating

Social networks are a revolutionary tool in modern life. It’s hard to say whether things were better before their advent, but one thing is clear: they have fundamentally changed the concepts of first impressions, courting, communication, and time spent together. Social networks influence the most crucial decisions in our life: choosing a partner out of love. “Let’s not meet, let’s message.” The answer to “Where did you meet?” is increasingly “on Tinder.” Now, even a status update on Facebook has taken over the role that personal blogs once played. The number of same-sex couples has increased. And often, arguments start (and usually do) because of interactions on social networks: someone liked something, someone posted a photo.

The Statistical Landscape

Currently, there are over 8,000 dating sites worldwide. According to The Economist, more than 200 million people globally use social networks each month to find a significant other. In the U.S., over a third of all relationships begin through apps like Tinder. For Americans, the internet is the second most popular way to meet a potential spouse. However, dating sites are more popular among men worldwide—they make up 62% of users. In the Russian market, for example, the revenue from dating services amounted to $4.6 billion in 2016 and continues to grow by about 8.9% annually. Thus, “online dating” is a massive social experiment that tests a vital and intimate process for all humanity. Yet, its results are just beginning to become visible.

Evolution of Partner Choice

Ruben Thomas, a sociologist from the University of New Mexico, states: “In the history of humanity, the choice of a partner was usually limited by geography or social status. What is happening now is a massive shift in the culture of intimate relationships. These encounters are unprecedented.”

The Rise of Mobile Dating Apps

By 2010, dating apps had moved from computers to phones, which became more convenient and grew up with younger generations. In 2013, Tinder appeared—a program that shows users potential partners and requires only a “swipe” to accept or reject the offer. These apps are convenient because they allow users to find people nearby. There are many apps similar to Tinder, catering to different countries and tastes. Facebook directly participates in this “experiment”—many apps allow you to link your FB account so someone can immediately check your profile.

Why We Prefer Online Dating and What Specifically Has Changed

Ruben Thomas also believes that dating apps give people a better chance of forming a strong union as these programs offer a very wide selection of potential partners. Harvard University studies confirm that marriages formed after online dating tend to last longer and people in them feel happier. Thus, you can set a search filter in an app to not show you blondes, for instance, or people of a different religion. Or, through social networks, you can immediately understand what kind of music someone likes (apparently, this is one of the most important factors!). This way, you can automatically save time talking to someone who may disappoint you later. There are even specific apps for Jews, Christians, Muslims, Trump supporters, vegans, or farmers (FarmersOnly). And even for people who consider their appearance average or unremarkable (Ugly Bug Ball).

We Meet Differently

Social networks change the conditions under which people usually meet. For instance, family gatherings used to be a popular way to meet: “Today, someone is coming over. Such a nice boy (such a sweet girl)! Take notice.” Yes, it usually involved eye-rolling and feeling like you were being set up. However, a certain percentage of couples were created this way.

We Communicate Differently

Communication is one of the main needs of humans, but dating apps and social networks allow us not to spend much time courting a partner. Online cinemas and delivery services reduce the time spent together but still satisfy our needs. Daily communication has also changed. For people who do not like to talk on the phone for long, social networks are the ideal way of communication. You can record voice or video messages, write long texts or, conversely, respond with monosyllabic phrases—whatever is easier. You can also not worry about saying something wrong, as a message can always be edited or even deleted. And even congratulations: you don’t have to worry and memorize a beautiful text by heart, fearing you might stumble, but simply make a video clip with photos and a lovely caption. Going shopping is no longer with long lists on paper but with a message on your phone. But, in reality, it’s still better not to allow ourselves to fully transition into the digital world, but to keep some part of genuine communication truly “alive.”

We Break Up Differently

If people spend most of their time communicating on social networks, it becomes harder to maintain a conversation in real life. During the day, it seems, all possible topics are discussed, stickers are sent, and memes are laughed at—what then to do in the evening when everyone gathers at home? Due to the too frequent use of social networks, people lose personal communication skills, which negatively affects real closeness with a partner. Sometimes people end relationships because it seems that there’s “too much” of the partner in real life—as in the chat, he/she talked less (= had fewer tantrums, were less sad, asked for less).

We Perceive Ourselves Differently

The journal Body Image conducted a study which found that people who use social networks for dating usually have self-esteem issues. Tinder, for instance, is mostly about appearance. People judge others primarily by appearance, not personality traits. Thus, apps even eliminate the possibility of falling in love with someone’s voice or walk, for example. But the study also proves that registered users are more critical of their appearance, body, and overall value. At the same time, they also begin to critically assess others. It’s a vicious cycle—by focusing on appearance, people elevate the external qualities of others while diminishing their own value.

Easier Connections for Homosexual Couples

While homosexuality is still considered a deviation and is prohibited in many countries, people suffer from not being able to find a partner. Living in constant fear of being humiliated or becoming a target for mockery, people prefer to stay single but safe. Dating social networks make this process easier—LGBT community members can also set a filter or write in their status what is important to know about their orientation to narrow down the search. Finding same-sex partners online is much more convenient and, importantly, safer than in the real world.

Why This Matters to You

You are likely registered on some social networks. Maybe dating apps are also of interest to you, and surely you have examples of successful online acquaintances. Now the main thing to understand is that people have unlimited opportunities for dating and choosing their partner. The modern trend confirms more than ever: I see the goal, I do not see the obstacles. Love is not only conquered by all ages but also all countries, races, religions, time zones, and photos in social networks.

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